Man, you got a lot of jokes to tell

So you throw your baby’s banners down the well

Give a little more than you like

Pick apart the past, you’re not going back

Don’t you waste your time

Additionally, I really need to fess up and admit that I watch and enjoy very mediocre tv shows.
I mean, as far as brilliant tv shows, the fact that I am madly in love with Vampire Diaries....
belittles me... but FlashForward is awesome.

My favourite song right now. Thank you Mr. Wait:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFxdDE0k1_Q

The highlights of my day today:
*an assembly our grade had in which our principal tried to make us love him by complimenting us excessively.
*walking to the hardware store in the rain with a friend. Not just the rain. it was beautiful rain.
*eating lunch with a friend I haven't talked to for a while, while being bombarded by fruit flies.
*talking about music/people/life in Mr. Novix's room for an hour. It was a very interesting conversation, and it's not that I don't necessarilly have those often, but this particular conversation was very refreshing. I just find teachers to be very wise people. Some of them, at least.

This is my kid brother. I love him very much. It's nice to have a sibling, because you can be very close to them and they really do know you better then anyone because they live with you, and they are not like a friend, in the respect that friends can be lost. You know they will be in your lives for a long time, so there is no, ending of said friendship.

I hope that he and I can still hang out when he's older.

He is definitely one of my best friends.

Our Yearbook is going to look AWESOME.
I speculate.
For some reason yearbook felt like six hours instead of two today, but luckily I got to be the DJ, and playing music always helps.. anything from passion pit, beethoven, kanye west, it was wonderful.
Today was awesome just because I got to spend a lot of time with someone, but I am alone at my house right now which makes me sad.
I'm going to talk about decisions, because I made a decision about forty ish minutes ago, and I'm really waffling over how I feel about it. I Hate those decisions where you make them JUST to make a decision, or where it's not actually genuine, or where you change your mind five seconds later.
The problem with me and decision making is the fact that I really have problems making up my mind, ever, about things, so making a decision is the extreme of that, which obviously, by extension, I find very difficult.
ahh

This is why I love a certain friend who wishes to remain anonymous:

our phone call consists of us both holding a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and debating/discussing various facets of Caulfield.

Agnosticism=Alienation?

There are churches across the world, youth-groups, cults, organizations, masses of religous people, globally, who are brought together by one similar, binding factor: God.
As an agnostic I feel more out of touch, alone, as us agnostics have nothing to bring us together but our.. lack of belief/acceptance of any one solid theory. There is no comradery in disbelief.
Conversely, as someone who doesn't necessarilly accept God, it's hard not to view such, closeness as a "false comradery".
There is no solidity in life, that is something I've learned: There is no it is, just it could be's, and to convince yourself that you are absuloute in your thoughts and convictions, is naievity.  
There is no confirmation, just the impossible duality:
Science and Hope.

Come to terms with a few things:
* I really do care about my English mark, and it embaresses me because I don't want to be one of those people that is super percentage-obsessed. But realisically speaking, a good mark to me speaks of some sort of recognition of all the work I've put in and my passion for it.
* Philosophy club should happen more then once a week.. I mean, sure it's great to let all those idea's accumulate, but my thinking is not exclusive to tuesdays at lunch.
* As awesome as it is to have time alone, I love how much time I've been spending with friends. Isolationism is awesome, but only in countries in world war one and two....
* I have been sort of in a "bubble".. the song high speed by Coldplay comes to mind lyrically.. anyways I no longer am going to let other people's perceptions of how I should be, cloud my perception of how I should be. And I deserve to be treated with respect, I mean, I don't care if it's a clone of me, I know myself better then anyone and how I feel and am should be validated.

ALSO
* The song Quiet Houses by Fleet Foxes may quite possibly be my favourite song ever.

I don't know about you

Who are they talking to

They're not talking to me

http://www.last.fm/user/Tashk13

White Demon Love Song.

:(
Pretty awful day.

Today was the first day back at school. Went to Powells, heard Raymonds stories about parties he had and people he fought... Powell's father in law died, and Yorke was acting very out of character, doubting her teaching skills. Fortunately I am not in geography i.e. in her grasp.

First block, Law with Tuck, Torts, Torts, Damages.. Law is probably the class I learn most in just because I have absuloutely no background in Law at all. Also, it's really interesting because so many crime shows are marketed in the media, just due to public fascination. I was watching Castle today and because of the things I know about Law I kept laughing at the show.. it's very un realistic.

Then I had photography. Ah Photoshop, how I missed thee.

Lunch of hashbrowns and pasta salad, discussing Metric with a friend...

Lit was after lunch, and was it lovely.. yes, yes, it was. A little bit of Atwood, a little bit of Wolfe, and a lot of Pynchon. Discussed by thoughts on thesis with Moorhead: sexuality is my topic..

Then my favourite, English. A breath of fresh air.. Reading Catcher in the Rye... Wait being witty. Found out I'm getting the highest mark in my class for term two. yay? I'm dissapointed at how little I care, although it is re-assuring in a sense.

Katrina came over after school and we watched The office, chatted, played Super Smash bro's..

Now I am tired and ready to tackle some more Pynchon.

Here's a photo from the vault. my favourite urban outfitters shirt.

Anyways, that's a summary of my day. Not sure how much longer I can keep this up.

It's nice though.. a good ending to my day I suppose.

Goodnight, Internet.

I was the one, with the world at my feet.

Got us a battle, leave it up to me.

I WAS A BLINDFOLD,

AND NEVER COMPLAINED.

ALL THE SURVIVORS,

SINGING IN THE RAIN.

I know it's a lie, I want it to be true
The rest of the ride is riding on you
Over goodbyes we'll buy some place

For wishing you could
Keep me closer, I'm a lazy dancer,
when you move I move with you
Keep me closer, I'm a lazy dancer,
when you move I move with you

Send us a blindfold, send us a blade

Tell the survivors help is on the way

I was a blindfold, never complained

All the survivors singing in the rain

I was the one with the world at my feet

Got us a battle, leave it up to me

Last summer I went to Bumbershoot in Seattle, and one of the wonderful bands I saw was Metric.
I've always loved Metric, don't get me wrong, and I still like a lot of their older stuff, but the album Fantasies is turning out to be my favourite album at the moment...
Blindness, Collect Call, and Sick Muse are probably my favourite songs (right now).
Emily Haines is a brilliant songwriter.. plus when I saw her live she grabbed my hand so obviously.. you know.. that means something..
her fashion sense/dance moves are all quite brilliant.

So here I am; here it is.
Gotta walk to school in about twenty minutes.
The time has come.
I am not nervous, and I'm not NOT looking forward to it,
just a little apprehensive. I've got like, chill, butterflies hanging out in my stomach.
I always get stuck in this rut when I go back to school,
where I have trouble socializing,
and just read most of the time to make up for that.
So I will be heading,
to Powells,
with a novel,
to start my morning.
Wish me luck, internet,
I am being thrown to the dogs.

I was searching through pictures from this time last year and I found this picture.

I love tye dye.

I'm currently doing a lot of different homework for all my different english classes:
In Lit we have a "woman in fiction" cumulative essay due in a month or so, so I read Cat's Eye and did a journal for it the other day, just remarking on different aspects, character traits, themes, or feminist qualities.
Now I'm embarking upon a huuuge and VERY DIFFICULT quest.
GRAVITY'S RAINBOW by Pynchon.
So far the most confusing book I have ever read. I'm on page 120 and I've re-read and re-read, and I have eight pages of journals too. It's hard because I have to do journals for my english class AND for my lit project, so I've got two notebooks out.
I've been listening to a lot of Handel today, classical music is definitely the easiest to study to.. and it's best with Lit.. I need a blank mind to be able to focus for Lit...
Anyways, Gravity's Rainbow is consuming me. it really is.
I have never spent so long reading a book before, it usually only takes me a day or a few hours, but this is a goddamn quest.

Halo Halo Halo,

I LOVE HALO.

Goodnight, sweet world.

Cherry Blossoms, Spring is Coming.

I wore socks and sandles today

It was comfertable

Opened an Encyclopedia in a friends house today.

Did you know that nettlesome is a word? and it's almost exactly like meddlesome,

which sounds exactly the same?

This is the world, this is the world we live in

It's not the one I choose but it's the one we're given

This is the world, this is the world we live in

And it's the winter windows that ends become beginnings

No lonely hands grab my suitcase full of nothing

I don't know why

I don't know why

Technicolor girls are always on the phone

talking about their homes

and the conversations continue endlessly.

And as they all grow older the truth will be understood,

cause we never turn out the way we thought we would.

NOTE: the dress from the last picture is from H&M's summer collection.

I don't like shopping in store's that aren't.. thrift stores,

but H&M's prices are so rad that I give in...

but most of the time Pink Elephant on Commercial is the place to go..

or Mintage...

Whenever I was a child

 I wondered what if my name had changed,

 into something more productive like, Roscoe.

Been born in 1891

Waiting with my Aunt Rosaline.

Decided to take a few pictures for the blog yesterday. This is the FLEET FOXES album I bought in Seattle last weekend. I figured it was worthy of a photograph.

There's this setting in my photo editer ccalled Gamma that I love using that creates this white and grainy blown out effect.

Tis fabulous.

If you've never listened to Fleet Foxes, Then I really reccomend doing so.

A good introductory track is "White Winter Hymnal"

or if you're feeling sort of, flashy, go for "Quiet Houses".

Rubix Cube, Rubix Cube,

I love Hamlet and the Rubix Cube...

I am embarking upon the twelve steps,

except it's not for Alcohol, moreso for recognizing my insanity, so to speak.

Anyways, I'm on step one, acceptance, so that's workikng out.

I have to thank an anonymous friend of mine,

who is amazing at helping me out with anything and everything.

I feel like I love having friends, they're lovely, but I like having a few.

I have like, maybe three I'm close to.

But i'm totally content that way.

Especially when they're good at helping me realize things about myself..

and make me better at video games at the same time.

We multitask

I really want/need Jessie to get home from Cuba.

This is Jessie.

Apparentely I'm either really sick or I have allergies. I really goddamn hope I don't have allergies. I love Spring and flowers and grass and pollen and animals too mucch to be allergic to them.
I'm crossing my fingers that I've just had some mystery illness for the last three weeks.
Doing homework is sort of difficult when you're dizzy as hell.
And apparently when someone says they are going to call you back in 30 minutes, they actually mean over an hour.....

I’ve been sleeping so strange at night

Side effects they don’t advertise

I’ve been sleeping so strange

With a head full of pesticide

Don't wanna give 'em my name and address,
Don't wanna see what happens next,
Don't wanna live in my father's house no more.
Don't wanna live with my father's debt,
You can't forgive what you can't forget,
Don't wanna live in my father's house no more.
Don't wanna fight in a holy war,
Don't want the salesmen knocking at my door,
I don't wanna live in America no more.
'Cause the tide is high,
and it's rising still,
And I don't wanna see it at my windowsill.

I never considered taking Commercial Photography until I took this picture;

Flashlights, Glowsticks, and a 60 Second Shutter Speed.

Converse are one thing I am willing to endorse.

Woke up this morning, after having weird, weird dreams.

Starbucks, Sasquatch, Busses and Spectres.

Goodnight.

I think that human beings have a need to be cruel.

I was reading this Margaret Atwood book, Cat's Eye, earlier today for a Lit essay I have to write in a few months, and in it the protagonist (who, incidentally, sounds a hell of a lot like Atwood) says that young girls need to be mean, because it's the only way that they can survive, or be, or feel, or something like that.

I remember reading that and agreeing, but in hindsight I think it goes a lot, larger then that. I think that little girls maybe have a stronger capacity of being mean without feeling as much remorse, and having a conscience which is as loud, due to the fact that the line between right and wrong isn't clearly defined for them yet, and that they are learning how to be little people etc. (I'm not justifying their actions in anything either) But I think that everyone needs to be mean, and can be mean, and that it's just a matter of whether or not they are aware of the fact that they are, quote on quote, "being mean."

Take me for example, seeing as I am the only person I truly know, I know that when I am mean or unkind I immediately feel regret. Hurting people is painful, but sometimes, if one is in the right situation, you know how to do it, especially if it's with someone you know, and it can feel good to point out the flaws in others if a) you see those flaws reflected in yourself or b) said victim has done the same to you.

Then there are the people who are, debatebly, the worst kind, because you can't really be mad at them. Yes, I'm talking about those people who have a capacity for cruelty, or critcism, but are unaware of the fact that they are being mean and don't understand what they're doing. These are the worst because they are virtually un-condemnable, unless you can somehow get them to change. I have experience with people like this, and it hurts more then anything. When someone you care about, love, even, says things to you that make you feel like... digging a hole in your backyard and hiding in it, or tearing off your skin. It's un-bearable, because I don't want to make a huge deal by telling this person who can't comprehend what they're doing, how much they're truly hurting me, and I also have to deal with pretending I'm fine. Now, you can basically only hope that the person you love making those comments fits into this category, unless they are in the next one.

This section is those people who know exactly how to hurt people, do it, don't feel bad about it, and get that little pleasure from seeing how much they can affect someone. I hope I don't know anyone like this, but sometimes, when it comes to people who might be 'sick' or me or something are saying unreasonable things, I just hope they don't fit into this one.

I wonder if this makes any sense to anyone but me.

The thing is, I doubt anyone will respond, and the anonymous enormity of this blog is paradoxically BLOWING MY MIND.

Oh, where you going for the two hundred and fiftieth time

Well I'm waiting for a sign
Well, it looks just like another line
And I'm walking backwards to the place where I come from
Oh but that ain't enough, no you want me to run
Used to feel like California, with baby eyes so blue
Now I feel like Carolina, I split myself in two

I feel like, you wouldn't like me, if you met me.

I reccomend to anyone who is just in one of those interlude moods,

to listen to the song

"An Interlude"

by The Decemberists

I

You know what I just realized today?

I haven't dotted my i's on paper for over five years.

That makes me feel old.
And sort of weird, because I don't even do it on purpose.

This is an album of Photography I started in May, and took a picture every day and put lyrics to them.

I guess the reasons for me putting this here are pretty vain. It's like me asking you to admire my photography. But what else do I have.

Anyways, they're all pretty old I guess. That's what I'll console myself with.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=83671&id=515594085&l=21caa7866c

I find that the only way to articulate who I am is by telling people what kind of movies I like, or music.

Maybe that sounds a bit general, broad... but how the fuck am I supposed to summarize who I am as a human being in words, or sentences.. with punctuation. I'm doing this thing right now, where i'm supposed to outline my life paths and everything, and I want to punch the creator of this thing in the mouth.

I mean, a- I am practically a baby to this world and even I know that you can't predicate anything about your future, or "life paths"

that's like asking me to give them my future postal code.

This whole future bullshit really bothers me too.

Ever since you get into elementary school they (note the omniprescence of "they", they meaning of course the ultimate 'stick it to the man' in any sort of industry, govt, etc) try to shove career paths down your throat: sciences make money, arts don't. But they promote both, and when you get to highschool you get to choose a few extra courses. I remember the first courses I got to school were in ninth grade, and I took Sewing and Acting. All I have to show for that are a pair of awesome boxers I made, a pincushion, and a bunch of monlogues that I wrote for drama, but sort of sucked at acting out.

Then you get into the grade ten, where they stick you in planning and make you go online and take all these tests that are supposed to figure it out for you. My number one choice was to be a Vet. and no I'm not talking about the military kind.. although that would be pretty crazy.

Basically, what I'm getting at here, is that the indoctrination bullshit of public education really pisses me off something. And if I end up relying on my fallback, fallback, fallback plan, and I go into teaching, hopefully I can try and do something about that.

I don't remember the point of why I started this.

The college I'm going to next year looks fun.

Besides the courses, honest to god I am really looking forward to all the skytraining I get to do.

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"
"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"It's kind of dissapointing, never to be chased"

The Go-Getters

"What is identity anyways, what is conciousness?"

This is my kind of movie.

Bright Shiny Lights

by Patrick Watson

I was flicking through all these different channels on TV, and I came across Jeopardy.

Turns out it was some celebrity version, and one of the contestants was Cheech. Yeah, the Cheech.

Anyways, he was winning by around 6 thousand dollars.

So all you squares out there....

I guess you just got proven wrong.

So don't hold me to this in a life or death kind of way, but from now on the pictures in my blog will only be mine unless I say so specifically. the last few blog pictures have been mine anyways.

Brookyln, Brookyln, take me in.

I took the picture of a picture in the last blog post of neil young.

Seattle was a breeding ground for photography..

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain.

In the desert you can remember your name,

Cause there's no one to give you pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_dEtaNx2Vc

o rly..

Don't drink the Kool Aid.

We all remember right? That terrible incident in Jonestown where a psychotic Jim Jones convinced around 900 people to drink poisin-laced Kool Aid and kill themselves? Well that was through a little something called manipulation. Sure one could argue that he didn't force them to believe, and although it is true that some people did try to leave at times, a majority of them took part in the mass-suicide willingly.

I was home sick two weeks ago and I saw that Oprah had the family members of serial killers on her show, and although I don't watch that show (except the after-oscar one of course) I taped it. I watched it later that day, and it was verry insightful. Jim Jones junior was on the show, and it was through his words that I learnt all about the killings and the "people's temple". I was intrigued; pscyhology is very fascinating to me, and I've always been very... interested in serial killers. Anyways, watching the show had a really profound affect on me, and I just had to explain it to further the understanding of what I'm about to say.

 (for all the info on the killing just google Jim Jones and there'll be a wiki about it)

This is relevant because two nights ago, in Seattle, I had a dream similar to the Jonestown incident. In my dream there was a group of religous people in a church, led by  someone I will call Jane. Jane was nice enough, not my friend or anything, but a part of the church. Now I'm not sure what exactly went down with this church but they were very secretive and tightly-knit, and it was difficult to gain entrance. I  became friends with Jane so I could get an in for some reason. My good friend, we'll call him James, used to be good friends with Jane, and used to be part of her church. He left the church, and remained in contact with Jane, but he and I were a lot closer. Anyways, one day Jane told me there was a "dance" going on, but she said it suspicously so I was wary. I went to the dance and noticed security guards outside so I didn't go in. I decided to go to the coat check and see what was going on and I discovered that everyone in the church were going to kill themselves so they could have a clear path to heaven, and see God. They knew if they did it in good spirits then he wouldn't punish them. I tried to leave but the guards wouldn't let me, so I bullshitted some excuse about calling my parents to come get me, and left. I was terrified because I knew tons of people were about to be killed, but it was even worse when James left a message on my cell telling me he was going. He didn't know what they were going to do, and I had to stop it. This is where it gets a little fuzzy, and I honestly don't remember what happened exactly, but I stopped it from happening and then my dream ended.
Moral of the story: don't get involved with dodgy cult's/organizations.

Hey Blog.

So I'm back from Seattle, and this is the hotel I stayed at. No I am not joking. I was in the tower on the left on the thirtieth floor, and I had a view of the space needle from my room. It was nifty.