4.10.2010
So after having that weird dream last night, I've been thinking about dreaming.
Two minutes ago my brother comes into my room, and tells me about a dream he had last night
where a guy friend of mine, anonymous, was driving my brother and I somewhere,
and then people started chasing us and shooting at us,
and my friend started swerving,
and byron said that the weird thing was that there were no stop signs,
everything was continuos.
Anyways, my friend got shot,
and my brother woke up.
Weird.
Two minutes ago my brother comes into my room, and tells me about a dream he had last night
where a guy friend of mine, anonymous, was driving my brother and I somewhere,
and then people started chasing us and shooting at us,
and my friend started swerving,
and byron said that the weird thing was that there were no stop signs,
everything was continuos.
Anyways, my friend got shot,
and my brother woke up.
Weird.
For some reason I can't get out of that thing that happened last night with Dylan.
Feels like I can't distinguish whether or not it really happenned.
It all feels like a dream.
The only evidence I have that it did happen is the paper I wrote on to him.
I can't decide if I wish it had happened or not.
Feels like I can't distinguish whether or not it really happenned.
It all feels like a dream.
The only evidence I have that it did happen is the paper I wrote on to him.
I can't decide if I wish it had happened or not.
After suffering my terrible laptop experience last night,
I decided to have some fun,
So I took.. well let's say more than I'm supposed to of this pill that helps you relax at night,
the awesome thing about this is that its side effect is vivid dreams.
So I took, well anyways, I took them,
fell asleep, and had a very traumatic dream.
In my dream I was at this farm, in the middle of nowhere, presumabely.
It was this field, all this rye and wheat and grain, and it was very sunny, but the sky was just blue,
not a cloud in sight.
Anyways I walked into this small cabin in the middle of this sea of grass,
and started making a fire and stuff like that.
Then all these people from my dad's side of the family started arriving:
his sister, his dad, and they started to talk to me and criticize how I was cooking and how I was cleaning.
It was stressful as hell, and then m Grandpa told me to start preparing something for my Grandma,
because she was coming over too.
I protested, asking how she could come over?
She has Alzheimes, and is in a wheelchair in a home, which she never leaves.
But I prepared food for her anyways.
My grandma arrived, and she was in her wheelchair and stuff,
but progressively she started, not becoming younger but losing her illness,
and then she was standing and tall and beautiful, like I would expect a regular grandma to look like.
It was the cabin, and the property: it was saving her.
And everyone was acting like it was perfectly normal.
Now I think the reason this dream was so emotional for me is because I literally do not remember my grandma before her illness. I don't remember her being normal, or an adult,
just as this child with Alzheimers that I could never really get close to.
Anyways, my family has obviously told me stories and shown me pictures of her,
and she was a lot like me, and she was beautiful and intelligent and strong,
but I've never really known her like that so besides the love you have for blood,
I've never really reallllly cared as much about her I would if she was normal.
Sounds awful, but I'm just being honest.
Back to my dream, this dream-Tash was me, so I was overwhelmed by this transformation,
and I saw my grandma and my aunt go for a walk, arms linked, happy and normal,
and because I was so sad because I knew as soon as she left the property she would go back to being,
well, mentally ill or whatever,
I ran away.
I ran into the middle of this field,
far away from the cabin,
and sat down in a spot where it was just grass and it was surrounded by tall strands of wheat.
I sat there, and my heart, oh man it hurt.
I sat there, sad, inconsolable, until I heard a noise,
and saw my grandma.
She was running to me across the field, laughing.
She looked beautiful; her hair was brown, she was wearing a loose white dress,
and it almost felt like she was floating to me.
She arrived and grabbed me and hugged me, held me,
and I started to cry. Weep.
She re-assured me, and for the first time in my life (even though it was a dream)
my grandma and I talked and she gave me advice and told me it was okay.
Told me how to find myself, become a good person,
but I was so sad because I think at this point I knew I was dreaming
and that my grandma and I would never be able to experience this.
I woke up and I was crying.
And now I am here.
I decided to have some fun,
So I took.. well let's say more than I'm supposed to of this pill that helps you relax at night,
the awesome thing about this is that its side effect is vivid dreams.
So I took, well anyways, I took them,
fell asleep, and had a very traumatic dream.
In my dream I was at this farm, in the middle of nowhere, presumabely.
It was this field, all this rye and wheat and grain, and it was very sunny, but the sky was just blue,
not a cloud in sight.
Anyways I walked into this small cabin in the middle of this sea of grass,
and started making a fire and stuff like that.
Then all these people from my dad's side of the family started arriving:
his sister, his dad, and they started to talk to me and criticize how I was cooking and how I was cleaning.
It was stressful as hell, and then m Grandpa told me to start preparing something for my Grandma,
because she was coming over too.
I protested, asking how she could come over?
She has Alzheimes, and is in a wheelchair in a home, which she never leaves.
But I prepared food for her anyways.
My grandma arrived, and she was in her wheelchair and stuff,
but progressively she started, not becoming younger but losing her illness,
and then she was standing and tall and beautiful, like I would expect a regular grandma to look like.
It was the cabin, and the property: it was saving her.
And everyone was acting like it was perfectly normal.
Now I think the reason this dream was so emotional for me is because I literally do not remember my grandma before her illness. I don't remember her being normal, or an adult,
just as this child with Alzheimers that I could never really get close to.
Anyways, my family has obviously told me stories and shown me pictures of her,
and she was a lot like me, and she was beautiful and intelligent and strong,
but I've never really known her like that so besides the love you have for blood,
I've never really reallllly cared as much about her I would if she was normal.
Sounds awful, but I'm just being honest.
Back to my dream, this dream-Tash was me, so I was overwhelmed by this transformation,
and I saw my grandma and my aunt go for a walk, arms linked, happy and normal,
and because I was so sad because I knew as soon as she left the property she would go back to being,
well, mentally ill or whatever,
I ran away.
I ran into the middle of this field,
far away from the cabin,
and sat down in a spot where it was just grass and it was surrounded by tall strands of wheat.
I sat there, and my heart, oh man it hurt.
I sat there, sad, inconsolable, until I heard a noise,
and saw my grandma.
She was running to me across the field, laughing.
She looked beautiful; her hair was brown, she was wearing a loose white dress,
and it almost felt like she was floating to me.
She arrived and grabbed me and hugged me, held me,
and I started to cry. Weep.
She re-assured me, and for the first time in my life (even though it was a dream)
my grandma and I talked and she gave me advice and told me it was okay.
Told me how to find myself, become a good person,
but I was so sad because I think at this point I knew I was dreaming
and that my grandma and I would never be able to experience this.
I woke up and I was crying.
And now I am here.
His name is Dylan and he is from Minnesota.
I went on Chatroullette to try and suade some peope to talk to me,
maybe get into some heated debates, you know,
have eight million people ask me to show them my boobs, whatever.
I ran into this guy pretty quick
and for some reason I didn't hit next like I usually do
loooks about 20 ish, blonde hair, toque, hoodie,
we start talking
-hi
-hi
he asks me where I'm from
and I ask him if I can ask him a quesiton first before we get to all that generic stuff
he says ok
so i ask him what the meaning of life and human existance is
and he, in a very long, intelligent answer
tells me it's about happiness.
it was awesome.
we proceeded to talk for at least an hour,
about anything. I showed him my ukulele
he told me about this random ukulele guy he started listening to today
jake shimabkuro
he I incidentally have seen before
that was cool
I dunno
it was awesome.
i never anticipated random conversation become so intriguing.
Anyways he failed at spelling Saskatchewan
I told him I want to be a writer.
It was really nice.
Then my chat stopped working so we wrote out stuff on paper and held it up to the webcam.
then I told him I was tired so i went and put on my pjs and he brushed his teeth
and he told me i was lovely and had magnificant hair
andthen he wrote that I am beautiful
and I told him I liked him too
and then he asked me how old I am
and I wrote a response
and my laptop died.
Fml.
I went on Chatroullette to try and suade some peope to talk to me,
maybe get into some heated debates, you know,
have eight million people ask me to show them my boobs, whatever.
I ran into this guy pretty quick
and for some reason I didn't hit next like I usually do
loooks about 20 ish, blonde hair, toque, hoodie,
we start talking
-hi
-hi
he asks me where I'm from
and I ask him if I can ask him a quesiton first before we get to all that generic stuff
he says ok
so i ask him what the meaning of life and human existance is
and he, in a very long, intelligent answer
tells me it's about happiness.
it was awesome.
we proceeded to talk for at least an hour,
about anything. I showed him my ukulele
he told me about this random ukulele guy he started listening to today
jake shimabkuro
he I incidentally have seen before
that was cool
I dunno
it was awesome.
i never anticipated random conversation become so intriguing.
Anyways he failed at spelling Saskatchewan
I told him I want to be a writer.
It was really nice.
Then my chat stopped working so we wrote out stuff on paper and held it up to the webcam.
then I told him I was tired so i went and put on my pjs and he brushed his teeth
and he told me i was lovely and had magnificant hair
andthen he wrote that I am beautiful
and I told him I liked him too
and then he asked me how old I am
and I wrote a response
and my laptop died.
Fml.
4.08.2010
So I've been bored. Went on Chatroullettte.
This guy was on, and he wasnt showing his face,
and he sent me a message, the first one, saying "can you hear me?"
and I said no, because I couldn/t
I saw the volume control and turned it on
and then all of a sudden I heard the guy and I guess another guy out of the picture talking.
All I heard before I hit next was :
""Dude a face is a face""
""Yeah man but a boob is a boob""
Priceless.
Oh and thiss happened
random asian guy my age: hi
me: heeeeeeyaa
me: what're you listening to (he had headphones in)
him: i like your face :)
me: thanky ou
him: my headphones are just in nothing haha (strike one)
him: what are you doing? (strike two)
me: nothing at all
me: can I ask you a question
him: sure
him: :)
me: what, do you think, is the meaning, of life and all human existance
him: to live and worship for God
STRRRIKKKKKKKE THREEE
This guy was on, and he wasnt showing his face,
and he sent me a message, the first one, saying "can you hear me?"
and I said no, because I couldn/t
I saw the volume control and turned it on
and then all of a sudden I heard the guy and I guess another guy out of the picture talking.
All I heard before I hit next was :
""Dude a face is a face""
""Yeah man but a boob is a boob""
Priceless.
Oh and thiss happened
random asian guy my age: hi
me: heeeeeeyaa
me: what're you listening to (he had headphones in)
him: i like your face :)
me: thanky ou
him: my headphones are just in nothing haha (strike one)
him: what are you doing? (strike two)
me: nothing at all
me: can I ask you a question
him: sure
him: :)
me: what, do you think, is the meaning, of life and all human existance
him: to live and worship for God
STRRRIKKKKKKKE THREEE
4.07.2010
Just got home from Jonsi.
It was a beautiful concert.
Adam and I went and ate dinner in the food court at Pacific centre after escaping the rain, and I mean RAIN, the torrential downpour, soaks-you-to-your-bones, kind of rain. Lovely.
Anyways he got some sushi that he knew wasn't very good but got anyways (question mark?) and I got these awesome vegetarian egg rolls and a lemon poppyseed muffin from some vegetarian foood store that I can not quite remember the name of. They werre both very good though.
After that we sort of meandered back to the theatre (The Vogue)
and got in line. It was only six ish, but we (i) have an obsession with getting to be front row at things,
so we wanted to get a good spot. We were about tenth in line,
and waited for a while just talking about, well life. Round six thirty Adam went to get us drinks from Starbucks to warm our chilly bones and I eavesdropped on some attractive Icelandic fellows standing in line behind me. Suffice it to say, I did not learn much.. They were speaking Icelandic...
Anywho, we got in,
I immediately bought Jonsi's CD for a whopping fifteen bucks, the guy at the merch table didn't have change so he paid me back too much and told me he'd cover the rest (I love random kindness)
and I went and saw the seats Adam got us. FRONT ROW.
I almost fell asleep to tell you the ttruth, there was really calming, serene music playing, and we had an hour to kill b efore the opener.
Anyways, at eight o clock this guy walks on stage. Lights don't really dim, nothing fancy happens, and I thought he was a lighting guy or something: long, brown hair down to his but, ordinary clothes, attractive enough, carrying a guitar with electrical tape on it, I didn't think hee was the opener.
He was; he was Death Vessel.
Now I thought he was very talented. He is an awesome guitar player- sort of folksy, indie music, almost reminiscent of Fleet Foxes or Midlake, and his voice is beautiful to match.
His voice is very soft, tender, and if I could designate an adjective I would call it Alabaster.
At first I thought he sort of sounded like Sufjan, just because of said innocence in his voice, but that opinion changed.
Now the first song was wonderful, and the second song was also good, but this guy, Death Vessel, did not pause in between his songs, except for applause, did not speak, did not really look at the audience or smile, aqnd just kept playing. By doing that, he really didn't catch the audience's attention, and all the songs started blending together and Adam even stopped clapping.
I still think he was good, but he really needs to work on his stage prescence.. I sound like Ellen on Idol.. Oh god.
It was funny because about halfway through his set an old man in the front row yelled out "CAN YOU TALK?" and the singer was like "WHAT?" and the old man said "WELL, ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SPEAK?" and the singer said "Uh , yes. Hello. My name is Joele, and your friend might have this band in their itunes library. I'm called Death Vessel" This is Death Vessel. below, with shorter hair.
And that was all he said, except for applauding Jonsi's awesomeness.
Anyways he finished, and it was a good thing because I was getting drowsy..
Adam and I chatted/slept for the next however long, and at nine THE LIGHTS DIMMED.
I was all a tingle. And in the darkness came JONSI, and others. Nico Muhly, Alex (of Jonsi and Alex, his boyfriend) and others I can't remember the name of :s.
Anyways they were all dressed in these crazy costumes, that were sort of conglomerations of all these different types and stris of fabrics, which hung off the outfits in strings or which were pieced together in a sort of patchwork way. They had these black pants that were sort of rouched at the bottom as well.
It was a beautiful concert.
Adam and I went and ate dinner in the food court at Pacific centre after escaping the rain, and I mean RAIN, the torrential downpour, soaks-you-to-your-bones, kind of rain. Lovely.
Anyways he got some sushi that he knew wasn't very good but got anyways (question mark?) and I got these awesome vegetarian egg rolls and a lemon poppyseed muffin from some vegetarian foood store that I can not quite remember the name of. They werre both very good though.
After that we sort of meandered back to the theatre (The Vogue)
and got in line. It was only six ish, but we (i) have an obsession with getting to be front row at things,
so we wanted to get a good spot. We were about tenth in line,
and waited for a while just talking about, well life. Round six thirty Adam went to get us drinks from Starbucks to warm our chilly bones and I eavesdropped on some attractive Icelandic fellows standing in line behind me. Suffice it to say, I did not learn much.. They were speaking Icelandic...
Anywho, we got in,
I immediately bought Jonsi's CD for a whopping fifteen bucks, the guy at the merch table didn't have change so he paid me back too much and told me he'd cover the rest (I love random kindness)
and I went and saw the seats Adam got us. FRONT ROW.
I almost fell asleep to tell you the ttruth, there was really calming, serene music playing, and we had an hour to kill b efore the opener.
Anyways, at eight o clock this guy walks on stage. Lights don't really dim, nothing fancy happens, and I thought he was a lighting guy or something: long, brown hair down to his but, ordinary clothes, attractive enough, carrying a guitar with electrical tape on it, I didn't think hee was the opener.
He was; he was Death Vessel.
Now I thought he was very talented. He is an awesome guitar player- sort of folksy, indie music, almost reminiscent of Fleet Foxes or Midlake, and his voice is beautiful to match.
His voice is very soft, tender, and if I could designate an adjective I would call it Alabaster.
At first I thought he sort of sounded like Sufjan, just because of said innocence in his voice, but that opinion changed.
Now the first song was wonderful, and the second song was also good, but this guy, Death Vessel, did not pause in between his songs, except for applause, did not speak, did not really look at the audience or smile, aqnd just kept playing. By doing that, he really didn't catch the audience's attention, and all the songs started blending together and Adam even stopped clapping.
I still think he was good, but he really needs to work on his stage prescence.. I sound like Ellen on Idol.. Oh god.
It was funny because about halfway through his set an old man in the front row yelled out "CAN YOU TALK?" and the singer was like "WHAT?" and the old man said "WELL, ARE YOU ALLOWED TO SPEAK?" and the singer said "Uh , yes. Hello. My name is Joele, and your friend might have this band in their itunes library. I'm called Death Vessel" This is Death Vessel. below, with shorter hair.
Anyways he finished, and it was a good thing because I was getting drowsy..
Adam and I chatted/slept for the next however long, and at nine THE LIGHTS DIMMED.
I was all a tingle. And in the darkness came JONSI, and others. Nico Muhly, Alex (of Jonsi and Alex, his boyfriend) and others I can't remember the name of :s.
Anyways they were all dressed in these crazy costumes, that were sort of conglomerations of all these different types and stris of fabrics, which hung off the outfits in strings or which were pieced together in a sort of patchwork way. They had these black pants that were sort of rouched at the bottom as well.
This is just a picture of Jonsi.
Anyways he stepped out and launched right into song, Stars in Still Water to be exact (I happened to come across a set list too by the way:D)
I will scan and post the set list later.
Anyways, Jonsi is odd loooking. I don't mean to sound prejudiced or racist but the band looked like these wonderful, pale, alien, Icelandic Nymphs, and they all had soft white pallours and wide set blue eyes. And odd hair cuts. Very odd hair cuts.
I have been wiki creeping Jonsi and discovered that the Band member that I had eye contact with the most was the oddest looking band member, Alex, Jonsi's BF.
Also, Jonsi is blind in his right eye, incidentally, the one i thought I was having awesome staring contests with..
So Jonsi was amazing for these reasons:
* they had an xylophone section where literally the whole band were playing different variants of xylophones
*all their songs were very long, very instrumental-ish despite the vocals, and Jonsi used TONS of looping to create beautiful ethereal effects with his voice
*the instruments the band used really varied, but there were tons of synths and keyboards, as well as odd percussion instruments
*they barely spoke, but the few times Jonsi did his accent was wonderfully Icelandic and thick
*they were super appreciative, and after the encore they came back on again and bowed, looking super emotional and smiling a lot
*someone threw a rose at them...
*during the last song before the encore, Jonsi went a bit nuts (the song was Around us) and used two microphones, AND he like, lightly threw the mic stand to the ground, but in a gentle way.. also he like, flipped this one box over a lot... he looped his voice and like remixed it in a wonderfull techno fashion
*for the encore he came out wearing a feathered headress..... he danced with it a lot
*His vocal range is incredible.... I was moved to tears
I am too tired to continue raving, but it is tied for best concert I've ever seen with Patrick Watson.
Incidentally, Adam was at both, and both were at Vogue.
Hmm....
4.06.2010
In other news, going to my first concert for a whilt tommorow night.
Going to see JONSI! Yeah.. like as in JONSI AND ALEX, and SIGUR ROS..
Anyways, my friend Adam and I are going downtown tommorow night to see him, hopefully getting front row. Last concert Adam and I went to was Patrick Watson, which was hands down the best concert I have ever been to
(and trust me I've been to alot of concerts)
anyways, the Vogue is definitely my favourite theatre, just because of how personal it is, how awesome the sound is, and how close I always get. Last few bands I saw there are Grizzly Bear, Patrick Watson, and The Decemberists.
While I'm on a concert tangent, here is a list of some of the concert's I've seen
Stars
Hey Rosetta!
Arctic Monkeys
Bedouin Soundclash (X2)
Feist (X2)
Sondre Lerche
Great Lake Swimmers
Neville Brothers (x3)
Dan Mangan
Sam Beam
Wilco
Arrested Development
Xavier Rudd
Sylvie Lewis
Weakerthans(x2)
Death Cab
Their There
Oh Wells
Micheal Franti
Regina Spektor
Jupiter One
Grizzly bear
Morning Benders
COLDPLAY
Decemberists
Blind Pilot
My brightest diamond
Chad Vangaalen
Sam Roberts
Serena Ryder
Cold war kids
Honey Brothers
Jason Mraz
Eric Hutchinson
Metric
Franz Ferdinand
Grizzly Bear
Aidan Knight
Patrick Watson
Regina Spektor
Jupitor One
Morning Benders
Here are all olympic ticket stubs
Philosophy Club today, a problem came up that's really been on my mind a lot lately:
how much I talk about myself in everything I do.
We didn't discuss it or anything, but I just noticed that everytime we discussed a topic,
no matter what it was from religous prejudice to goddamn anything,
I always ended up talking about myself.
Now I can justify it, saying that I am young and really have no life experience or knowledge outside of myself, so it's understandable that I talked about myself so much,
but it's almost making me feel nautious, like, actually sick, whenever I mention my own name when talking to people.
I have one friend who brings it up a lot, how much I talk about myself, and he always says it in a sort of positive way, like 'good job Tash, you can talk about yourself'
but it's also in a sort of 'look at how self-absorbed you are' way
even if he doesn't mean it that way.
Anyways, I don't know if this ever happens to anyone else,
but I am genuinely sick of myself right now.
Gah.
I am going to post a picture of something completley irrelevant so when I look at this post in the future I don't have to think about myself and then think about the fact that I talked about myself while talking about how much I hate talking about myself.
Oh my goodness.
how much I talk about myself in everything I do.
We didn't discuss it or anything, but I just noticed that everytime we discussed a topic,
no matter what it was from religous prejudice to goddamn anything,
I always ended up talking about myself.
Now I can justify it, saying that I am young and really have no life experience or knowledge outside of myself, so it's understandable that I talked about myself so much,
but it's almost making me feel nautious, like, actually sick, whenever I mention my own name when talking to people.
I have one friend who brings it up a lot, how much I talk about myself, and he always says it in a sort of positive way, like 'good job Tash, you can talk about yourself'
but it's also in a sort of 'look at how self-absorbed you are' way
even if he doesn't mean it that way.
Anyways, I don't know if this ever happens to anyone else,
but I am genuinely sick of myself right now.
Gah.
I am going to post a picture of something completley irrelevant so when I look at this post in the future I don't have to think about myself and then think about the fact that I talked about myself while talking about how much I hate talking about myself.
Oh my goodness.
I am by no means a huge fashion-advocate, although I enjoy clothes and all,
but I decided to blog my outfit today just cause I enjoyed it so much.
Flowery vintage dress I got downtown last summer (10 bucks)
shoes from F21 I got couple weeks ago (5 bucks)
and, hidden under the shoes, a purple, shoulder-padded blazer (2 bucks)
my 17 dollar spring outfit.
The satisfaction of posting your clothes online... priceless.
4.05.2010
An dreary Easter Monday
Was having a bit of a sad day, decided to go for a bike ride into the farmlands.
Unfortunately, the wind was blowing against me the whole ride,
and now I'm massaging me poor legs.
On the bright side, wrote a lot of poetry, enjoyed a lot of beautiful weather,
and listened to a lot of wonderful music
(The Beacon by A Fine Frenzy
and
First Days of Spring by Noah and the Whale)
I'd like to give props to nature, for being so beautiful that I did not need to edit any of these pictures. But I still did. a little.
(Sun Scape)
I have blisters on my fingers.
Every night
(Sunscape)
I walk down to the concrete ocean
dip my fingers in those grainy suds
and watch the water
billowing crimson.
Small fish nip at my fingertips
while I'm laughing, euphoric,
isn't it hilarious
how hungry they are?
I paint with my index finger
sliding it across that liquid gray
small grains of rock and sand
catch in my fleshy pallett.
It is only when the sky and the moon
and the sun are all awake
that I can reach my Watery crescendo.
Exhale, extend both palms upward,
brush away residual flecks,
then, opening my mouth aquatic,
screaming oxygen,
I start with the lines of my tips
and bent in prayer,
forehead to the ground,
with all my might,
all the strength I posess,
I drag my hands,
my arms,
my forehead,
down the pavement.
I mirror the blood of the sun
with the sunscape of my skin.
As is scathingly apparent from my last post, I love buildings.
And not in the sense that I get off on that metallic, cold, tall, feel they exude,
moreso how weird and foreign they seem to me.
I have a love/hate relationship with the city,
I know I'll live there for a bit maybe in a few years,
but I'm bound to live in the country.
Anyways, I just wanted to note that I love buildings in buildings.
You know, that reflection and refraction thing that goes on sometimes.
It's real alien and beautiful.
Not as beautiful as this though.
And not in the sense that I get off on that metallic, cold, tall, feel they exude,
moreso how weird and foreign they seem to me.
I have a love/hate relationship with the city,
I know I'll live there for a bit maybe in a few years,
but I'm bound to live in the country.
Anyways, I just wanted to note that I love buildings in buildings.
You know, that reflection and refraction thing that goes on sometimes.
It's real alien and beautiful.
Not as beautiful as this though.
4.04.2010
I think that one of my biggest flaw's as a human being is that I am very good at losing touch with people.
I am absuloutely remarkable at getting close to people, and then not talking for a while, and then becoming too afraid to re-connect.
It's a skill, really, and I've got it fucking honed.
See that face? Looks innocent enough, but trust me,
she's not that great..
I am absuloutely remarkable at getting close to people, and then not talking for a while, and then becoming too afraid to re-connect.
It's a skill, really, and I've got it fucking honed.
See that face? Looks innocent enough, but trust me,
she's not that great..
So to most people this post is going to seem really insignificant, primarily because it's going to be about a tape recorder. Specifically, that tape recorder.
Few days ago my friend and I were hanging out, and we decided to go hang out in her shed, among other things. We sat down, her on this bed, me on a chair adjacent, and looked around.
This shed is tiny, bright pink and blue, and decorated in the tackiest of fashions, but on purpose.
Sitting on the middle of this bed, is a tape recorder.
She picks it up and turns it on, and we start listening.
It's a conversation she had with one of our best friends, her ex boyfriend, and another friend of ours.
We sat there, in a daze, and became mesmerized.
It was the day of the wind storm, and we sat silently, our only view of the outside a small window, through which the tips of treetops were visible, flailing in the wind, and a large hole where the doorknob should be in her door.
The conversation was mundane, but it was two years old, and reflecting on the past really made some things in the present, seem.. I don;t know how to describe it properly.
Anyways, after a while she clicked the fast forward button, because we decided to tape ourselves for a while and then forget about it or something.
She would click the fast forward, and this terrible, high pitched whirring sound would happen, as the tape skipped ahead, and it would fill up the shed, even the holes. Then she would let go, and we would hear a word, or a sentence. Maybe some laughter.
We sat, more or less silent, for a very long time.
It was magic.
This is making out to being an interesting Easter.
Woke up, sort of in a haze,
picked up my cousin from downtown and went to my Oma and Opa's.
Had a wonderful lunch, they are so German, and then went for a walk down to the Ocean.
North Vancouver is beautiful, and my Opa and I walked alone the shoreline talking for a long time.
I've had things happen around me that have really forced me to put things into perspective now,
that perspective pertaining specifically to the 'big' picture, so to speak,
and speaking to my Opa was reallllly enlightening.
After that on the drive home I got to talk to my cousin, which is cooll,
mainly because he lived with my family when I was younger for a year or so and he was definitely..
my hero. And now he's gone through a lot of shit and emerging a better person, and I really respect him for the place that he's in right now.
Afterwards I got to hear my parents argue for a while over really mundane thinggs,
I guess watching The Squid and the Whale sort of skews your perspective of that shit anyways,
and now I'm lying in bed, tired as hell, about to go for an Easter dinner at one of my best friends' houses.
I'm looking forward to that, minus any awkward family dynamic that may ensue.
I'll keep you posted, dear interweb.
Woke up, sort of in a haze,
picked up my cousin from downtown and went to my Oma and Opa's.
Had a wonderful lunch, they are so German, and then went for a walk down to the Ocean.
North Vancouver is beautiful, and my Opa and I walked alone the shoreline talking for a long time.
I've had things happen around me that have really forced me to put things into perspective now,
that perspective pertaining specifically to the 'big' picture, so to speak,
and speaking to my Opa was reallllly enlightening.
After that on the drive home I got to talk to my cousin, which is cooll,
mainly because he lived with my family when I was younger for a year or so and he was definitely..
my hero. And now he's gone through a lot of shit and emerging a better person, and I really respect him for the place that he's in right now.
Afterwards I got to hear my parents argue for a while over really mundane thinggs,
I guess watching The Squid and the Whale sort of skews your perspective of that shit anyways,
and now I'm lying in bed, tired as hell, about to go for an Easter dinner at one of my best friends' houses.
I'm looking forward to that, minus any awkward family dynamic that may ensue.
I'll keep you posted, dear interweb.
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