Looking back on my past posts makes me hate myself. Or at least the person was when I wrote those posts,
I seem so superficial. Hell, maybe I am.
I hate the fog around my definition of myself. I have no clue who the fuck I am as a human being,
and every time I feel like I might know, I realize I know even less then I ever have.

Buddhism is really fascinating.
Eric told me this Buddhist story, I'll write it in here when I'm feeling better.
Really reassuring, about death.
Doesn't make it seem as daunting.

It's funny, in a terrible way,
that I thought this week was going so well,
felt genuinely happy,
and then, this happened.
I can't pinpoint this, but it started with this creative writing assignemnt I wrote earlier today,
about a woman alone in an empty white room who painted clouds on the walls with her bare flesh.
It took a lot out of me to write it, and i literally felt exhausted after finishing it.
The rest of the day was O.K., and then I finished this book by Philip.K.Dick, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep,
and started feeling a bit off, so I turned on Rufus Wainwrights new album, lowered my lights, lay down on the floor,
and stayed like that for a bit over an hour.
I was so heavy with sadness I couldn't even move. Felt like my blood was laced with concrete.
Afterwards I read The National Geographic and it made me feel a bit better,
and now I am eating a strawberry and writing this.
Now I'm heading back to my floor I think.
Goodnight, world.

I am so tired (great Beatles song) and I am going to bed before 9 45 again,
but I just wanted to say that yesterday was a good day, went downtown with some loves,
today I performed at an art thing With Nick and Evan,
performed:
roscoe by midlake
dont panic by coldplay
across the universe
and magical mystery tour

Such a fantastic day; we got an encore, got to go again.
AND i got to hang out with Tash B.
I'm so tired.
Can't wait to PROPERLY update tommorow.
Night, love, peace.

So Nick and Evan were over today and we practised for this music thing coming up that we're performing in,
Artstravaganza,
and I don't want to ruin all the songs that we are singing, but
one of the songs is:

My childhood..

SO. Good day today.
I think.
Oversized red plaid shirt tucked in to beige skinnies.
Yes, those were safety pins holding together my shirt....
Anyways, I had a lit thesis presentation third block,
I went first, shook a little, but I think I did really well.
Then fourth block I was all ready on a roll, and I presented this Catcher in the Rye project to my class.
It involved a lot of chocolate, and my shirt became unbuttoned so I felt slightly promiscuous.
Anyways, the presentations went really well,
and I also made a transaction during lit for tommorow,
if you know what I imean....
Evan and Nick are coming over soon to work on music for Artstravaganze wednesday.
Gotta go!

Thank you, Jason.

I came across three men,

They had church candles wrapped in newspaper.

I bought two from them,

And I lit one for you,

I hope the message made it's way down the way.

For reasons unknown,
definitely my favourite Killers song.

BOWERBIRDS
BOWERBIRDS
BOWERBIRDS
BOWERBIRDS
BOWERBIRDS
BOWERBIRDS

Let me wrap myself around you

Let me show you how I see

And when you come back in from nowhere

Do you ever think of me?

Your heart is not able

Let me show you how much I care

These are some more pictures from the fashion show the other day..

I apologize for the lack of sense in the last two posts.
That's what friday night does to me.
Anyways yesterday was spent working on homework;
I had to write and perfect three literary journals and then write a good thesis,
as well as prepare myself for the seminar I'm presenting for tommorow.
Gravity's Rainbow, Cat's Eye, To the Lighthouse, Catcher in the Rye..
I know those books inside out right now...