Goodnight, sweet world.

Cherry Blossoms, Spring is Coming.

I wore socks and sandles today

It was comfertable

Opened an Encyclopedia in a friends house today.

Did you know that nettlesome is a word? and it's almost exactly like meddlesome,

which sounds exactly the same?

This is the world, this is the world we live in

It's not the one I choose but it's the one we're given

This is the world, this is the world we live in

And it's the winter windows that ends become beginnings

No lonely hands grab my suitcase full of nothing

I don't know why

I don't know why

Technicolor girls are always on the phone

talking about their homes

and the conversations continue endlessly.

And as they all grow older the truth will be understood,

cause we never turn out the way we thought we would.

NOTE: the dress from the last picture is from H&M's summer collection.

I don't like shopping in store's that aren't.. thrift stores,

but H&M's prices are so rad that I give in...

but most of the time Pink Elephant on Commercial is the place to go..

or Mintage...

Whenever I was a child

 I wondered what if my name had changed,

 into something more productive like, Roscoe.

Been born in 1891

Waiting with my Aunt Rosaline.

Decided to take a few pictures for the blog yesterday. This is the FLEET FOXES album I bought in Seattle last weekend. I figured it was worthy of a photograph.

There's this setting in my photo editer ccalled Gamma that I love using that creates this white and grainy blown out effect.

Tis fabulous.

If you've never listened to Fleet Foxes, Then I really reccomend doing so.

A good introductory track is "White Winter Hymnal"

or if you're feeling sort of, flashy, go for "Quiet Houses".

Rubix Cube, Rubix Cube,

I love Hamlet and the Rubix Cube...

I am embarking upon the twelve steps,

except it's not for Alcohol, moreso for recognizing my insanity, so to speak.

Anyways, I'm on step one, acceptance, so that's workikng out.

I have to thank an anonymous friend of mine,

who is amazing at helping me out with anything and everything.

I feel like I love having friends, they're lovely, but I like having a few.

I have like, maybe three I'm close to.

But i'm totally content that way.

Especially when they're good at helping me realize things about myself..

and make me better at video games at the same time.

We multitask

I really want/need Jessie to get home from Cuba.

This is Jessie.

Apparentely I'm either really sick or I have allergies. I really goddamn hope I don't have allergies. I love Spring and flowers and grass and pollen and animals too mucch to be allergic to them.
I'm crossing my fingers that I've just had some mystery illness for the last three weeks.
Doing homework is sort of difficult when you're dizzy as hell.
And apparently when someone says they are going to call you back in 30 minutes, they actually mean over an hour.....

I’ve been sleeping so strange at night

Side effects they don’t advertise

I’ve been sleeping so strange

With a head full of pesticide

Don't wanna give 'em my name and address,
Don't wanna see what happens next,
Don't wanna live in my father's house no more.
Don't wanna live with my father's debt,
You can't forgive what you can't forget,
Don't wanna live in my father's house no more.
Don't wanna fight in a holy war,
Don't want the salesmen knocking at my door,
I don't wanna live in America no more.
'Cause the tide is high,
and it's rising still,
And I don't wanna see it at my windowsill.

I never considered taking Commercial Photography until I took this picture;

Flashlights, Glowsticks, and a 60 Second Shutter Speed.

Converse are one thing I am willing to endorse.

Woke up this morning, after having weird, weird dreams.

Starbucks, Sasquatch, Busses and Spectres.

Goodnight.

I think that human beings have a need to be cruel.

I was reading this Margaret Atwood book, Cat's Eye, earlier today for a Lit essay I have to write in a few months, and in it the protagonist (who, incidentally, sounds a hell of a lot like Atwood) says that young girls need to be mean, because it's the only way that they can survive, or be, or feel, or something like that.

I remember reading that and agreeing, but in hindsight I think it goes a lot, larger then that. I think that little girls maybe have a stronger capacity of being mean without feeling as much remorse, and having a conscience which is as loud, due to the fact that the line between right and wrong isn't clearly defined for them yet, and that they are learning how to be little people etc. (I'm not justifying their actions in anything either) But I think that everyone needs to be mean, and can be mean, and that it's just a matter of whether or not they are aware of the fact that they are, quote on quote, "being mean."

Take me for example, seeing as I am the only person I truly know, I know that when I am mean or unkind I immediately feel regret. Hurting people is painful, but sometimes, if one is in the right situation, you know how to do it, especially if it's with someone you know, and it can feel good to point out the flaws in others if a) you see those flaws reflected in yourself or b) said victim has done the same to you.

Then there are the people who are, debatebly, the worst kind, because you can't really be mad at them. Yes, I'm talking about those people who have a capacity for cruelty, or critcism, but are unaware of the fact that they are being mean and don't understand what they're doing. These are the worst because they are virtually un-condemnable, unless you can somehow get them to change. I have experience with people like this, and it hurts more then anything. When someone you care about, love, even, says things to you that make you feel like... digging a hole in your backyard and hiding in it, or tearing off your skin. It's un-bearable, because I don't want to make a huge deal by telling this person who can't comprehend what they're doing, how much they're truly hurting me, and I also have to deal with pretending I'm fine. Now, you can basically only hope that the person you love making those comments fits into this category, unless they are in the next one.

This section is those people who know exactly how to hurt people, do it, don't feel bad about it, and get that little pleasure from seeing how much they can affect someone. I hope I don't know anyone like this, but sometimes, when it comes to people who might be 'sick' or me or something are saying unreasonable things, I just hope they don't fit into this one.

I wonder if this makes any sense to anyone but me.

The thing is, I doubt anyone will respond, and the anonymous enormity of this blog is paradoxically BLOWING MY MIND.

Oh, where you going for the two hundred and fiftieth time

Well I'm waiting for a sign
Well, it looks just like another line
And I'm walking backwards to the place where I come from
Oh but that ain't enough, no you want me to run
Used to feel like California, with baby eyes so blue
Now I feel like Carolina, I split myself in two

I feel like, you wouldn't like me, if you met me.

I reccomend to anyone who is just in one of those interlude moods,

to listen to the song

"An Interlude"

by The Decemberists

I

You know what I just realized today?

I haven't dotted my i's on paper for over five years.

That makes me feel old.
And sort of weird, because I don't even do it on purpose.

This is an album of Photography I started in May, and took a picture every day and put lyrics to them.

I guess the reasons for me putting this here are pretty vain. It's like me asking you to admire my photography. But what else do I have.

Anyways, they're all pretty old I guess. That's what I'll console myself with.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=83671&id=515594085&l=21caa7866c

I find that the only way to articulate who I am is by telling people what kind of movies I like, or music.

Maybe that sounds a bit general, broad... but how the fuck am I supposed to summarize who I am as a human being in words, or sentences.. with punctuation. I'm doing this thing right now, where i'm supposed to outline my life paths and everything, and I want to punch the creator of this thing in the mouth.

I mean, a- I am practically a baby to this world and even I know that you can't predicate anything about your future, or "life paths"

that's like asking me to give them my future postal code.

This whole future bullshit really bothers me too.

Ever since you get into elementary school they (note the omniprescence of "they", they meaning of course the ultimate 'stick it to the man' in any sort of industry, govt, etc) try to shove career paths down your throat: sciences make money, arts don't. But they promote both, and when you get to highschool you get to choose a few extra courses. I remember the first courses I got to school were in ninth grade, and I took Sewing and Acting. All I have to show for that are a pair of awesome boxers I made, a pincushion, and a bunch of monlogues that I wrote for drama, but sort of sucked at acting out.

Then you get into the grade ten, where they stick you in planning and make you go online and take all these tests that are supposed to figure it out for you. My number one choice was to be a Vet. and no I'm not talking about the military kind.. although that would be pretty crazy.

Basically, what I'm getting at here, is that the indoctrination bullshit of public education really pisses me off something. And if I end up relying on my fallback, fallback, fallback plan, and I go into teaching, hopefully I can try and do something about that.

I don't remember the point of why I started this.

The college I'm going to next year looks fun.

Besides the courses, honest to god I am really looking forward to all the skytraining I get to do.

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"
"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"Do you ever feel like you're kind of early, or late, for everything?"

"It's kind of dissapointing, never to be chased"

The Go-Getters

"What is identity anyways, what is conciousness?"

This is my kind of movie.

Bright Shiny Lights

by Patrick Watson

I was flicking through all these different channels on TV, and I came across Jeopardy.

Turns out it was some celebrity version, and one of the contestants was Cheech. Yeah, the Cheech.

Anyways, he was winning by around 6 thousand dollars.

So all you squares out there....

I guess you just got proven wrong.

So don't hold me to this in a life or death kind of way, but from now on the pictures in my blog will only be mine unless I say so specifically. the last few blog pictures have been mine anyways.

Brookyln, Brookyln, take me in.

I took the picture of a picture in the last blog post of neil young.

Seattle was a breeding ground for photography..

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain.

In the desert you can remember your name,

Cause there's no one to give you pain.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_dEtaNx2Vc

o rly..

Don't drink the Kool Aid.

We all remember right? That terrible incident in Jonestown where a psychotic Jim Jones convinced around 900 people to drink poisin-laced Kool Aid and kill themselves? Well that was through a little something called manipulation. Sure one could argue that he didn't force them to believe, and although it is true that some people did try to leave at times, a majority of them took part in the mass-suicide willingly.

I was home sick two weeks ago and I saw that Oprah had the family members of serial killers on her show, and although I don't watch that show (except the after-oscar one of course) I taped it. I watched it later that day, and it was verry insightful. Jim Jones junior was on the show, and it was through his words that I learnt all about the killings and the "people's temple". I was intrigued; pscyhology is very fascinating to me, and I've always been very... interested in serial killers. Anyways, watching the show had a really profound affect on me, and I just had to explain it to further the understanding of what I'm about to say.

 (for all the info on the killing just google Jim Jones and there'll be a wiki about it)

This is relevant because two nights ago, in Seattle, I had a dream similar to the Jonestown incident. In my dream there was a group of religous people in a church, led by  someone I will call Jane. Jane was nice enough, not my friend or anything, but a part of the church. Now I'm not sure what exactly went down with this church but they were very secretive and tightly-knit, and it was difficult to gain entrance. I  became friends with Jane so I could get an in for some reason. My good friend, we'll call him James, used to be good friends with Jane, and used to be part of her church. He left the church, and remained in contact with Jane, but he and I were a lot closer. Anyways, one day Jane told me there was a "dance" going on, but she said it suspicously so I was wary. I went to the dance and noticed security guards outside so I didn't go in. I decided to go to the coat check and see what was going on and I discovered that everyone in the church were going to kill themselves so they could have a clear path to heaven, and see God. They knew if they did it in good spirits then he wouldn't punish them. I tried to leave but the guards wouldn't let me, so I bullshitted some excuse about calling my parents to come get me, and left. I was terrified because I knew tons of people were about to be killed, but it was even worse when James left a message on my cell telling me he was going. He didn't know what they were going to do, and I had to stop it. This is where it gets a little fuzzy, and I honestly don't remember what happened exactly, but I stopped it from happening and then my dream ended.
Moral of the story: don't get involved with dodgy cult's/organizations.

Hey Blog.

So I'm back from Seattle, and this is the hotel I stayed at. No I am not joking. I was in the tower on the left on the thirtieth floor, and I had a view of the space needle from my room. It was nifty.